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USA Real Estate Blog

Why You Hate Real Estate Agents (and How to Not Make Their Mistakes in Your Business)

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Learning this one skill is the key to client service and loyalty.

Rare spaciousness in a New York City kitchen. What’s not to love? Details here.

What Luxury Clients Want

With all the talk about what “luxury buyers” want, here’s what often gets overlooked:


Not just space in the home, but a sense of spaciousness in their process.

The Typical Energetics of the Real Estate Process

Rushing from one open house to the next and crowding into an apartment like you’re at a sample sale is not aligned with the ideals of luxury. It doesn’t benefit buyers or sellers.

The frenetic pace of rushing from one home to the next to “fit them in” at open houses, and the feeling of being crowded while viewing a home, takes its toll on buyers’ nervous systems, even if they don’t realize it on a conscious level.

How Rushing Affects the Deal

Energy is contagious.

The energy of feeling rushed or crowded manifests in the body as a physical sensation of anxiety and fear. And unless the client is attuned to the subtle body signals (or the agent is super aware of what’s happening), the client will perceive those physical feelings as a “sign” that the home isn’t the right fit.

How you feel in a home is how you feel about the home.

In the cases where buyers know a home is a good fit, the subtle body signals that result from feeling frantic and squeezed result in their feeling pressure to make quick decisions.

They are more likely to back out of a deal, and more likely to have negative feelings about the process when it is done — even if they “won the bidding war.” (Often, especially if they were involved in a “bidding war.”)

Most Real Estate Agents Don’t Learn This

You might think this is obvious. My experience tells me otherwise. When I speak to agents about the energetics of working with clients, especially communication and showings, they look at me as if they are hearing this for the first time.

In many cases they are. Most agents believe they are in a sales job, and that the goal is to “hustle.”

I don’t know about you, but as a client, as a buyer, I hate feeling hustled.

Hustle doesn’t feel like a luxury experience to me. It feels like I’m being scammed.

When I’m on the client side, in any type of service or transaction, I want to feel the luxury of space. I value the professionals who hold space for me to go through my process — whatever that process is, and however long it takes. This is the standard I set for myself when serving my clients.

Rituals to Create Space

I often speak about my morning rituals, and how they help me create space for my best work.

Part of my best work is creating and holding space for others.

This is the essence of what I do, whether it’s in the context of a client who is buying or selling a home or a client who is navigating some other high-stakes decision.

And just as I have rituals to create space for myself, I have rituals to create space for my clients.

Creating Space for a Luxury Experience

A few examples, specific to my real estate practice:

(1) Breathing Space. I schedule most showings by appointment rather than by open house. This gives buyers their own time in the home. They have breathing room. They can visualize their life in the space without other people around.

(2) Be-ing Space. I schedule enough time between appointments so that buyers don’t feel rushed as they view the home. I want them to be in the space, not just walk through it.

(3) Buffer Space. I leave myself enough time after appointments to write up my notes from the showings while I’m still in the space. I always share my notes with my client (the owner) before I leave.

Obvious? Not as much as you’d think.

Again, these tips may sound really obvious. Most clients expect this. Unfortunately, most agents don’t do these things. They run from one showing to the next, barely stopping to breathe. They’re hustling. Then they arrive at the next place, frantic and rushed.

Energy is contagious. What type of energy do you think they are passing on to their clients in that state?

This doesn’t apply only to real estate agents

If you are in the business of serving clients, whether as a real estate agent or in some other capacity, you must be aware of your energy.

The Greatest Luxury

The concept that “space is the greatest luxury” may be cliché, but space isn’t just what fits within four walls.

In fact, in my experience, having people who hold space for me is the greatest luxury of all. Those coaches, consultants, advisors, mentors, service professionals earn my loyalty and my referrals.

The people who try to hustle me? I block their number. Maybe that’s just me.

Your Turn

What about you? What kind of experience are you creating for the people who you serve? What energy are you bringing to your clients? What energy would serve them best?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

This is day 43 of my daily publishing experiment. Thank you so much for reading. I say that because I mean it. If you took the time to read this, I really appreciate you.

Please check out my archives at (You can also view most articles here on Medium as well. If you like something, let me know. There’s a high probability I’ve got more on that topic. Do you have questions? Is there something you’d like me to take deeper? I’ve got plenty of depth. Let me know in the comments. I would love to know how I can serve you better.

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