The Savior of the Modern Stock Market is Before You
As a genius investor and one of the most prolific money making machines of our modern time, I have many thoughts and ideas on how to generate massive profits.This has been on me since I was born. I came out of my mothers womb covered in the words of the holy profit.
Long before there was tattoo removal you simply had to scrub your skin to get rid of any text upon your body. For the first four years of my life the words of the holy profit on me were transcribed in a secret book and then scrubbed off my delicate skin. My mother did not want me to be a freak of a nature (or for others to learn the wisdom of strategic stock acquisition and asset allocation by reading me).
As the savior of modern investing markets with the weight of the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE), American Stock Exchange (AMEX), and National Association of Securities Dealers Automated Quotations (NASDAQ) on my shoulders, I feel compelled to bring my knowledge of financial markets to the population of this world. Since my birth I have known my purpose is to spread the good word of the holy profit to the uneducated and financially oppressed masses of the commonwealth, be extraordinarily wealthy at the local, international, and worldwide business levels, and eat delicious medium rare ribeye steaks in my glass mansion on Mount Profit. With my path laid out ahead of me I walk alongside the righteous and the true in my pursuit of balanced stock portfolios and 8% annualized returns on investments for all.
If you wish to bask in the glory of the true light of life and source of wisdom from on high, you will empty the well within and devote your existence to the pursuit of absolute profit. You will give up the trivial pursuits of family, friends, and a harmonious work/life balance and heed the advice of your savior (me), and properly allocate your assets based on strategic acquisitions that accommodate your growth strategy, realizing the holiest returns into the breadth of your being. Only through walking with the truly righteous and pure will you be able to enjoy the slight crunchy char on a well seasoned and properly cooked medium rare ribeye steak. Only through my stock market advice will you live in a glass mansion on Mount Profits where the bull market extends as far as the eye can see and quarterly earnings reports never disappoint.
I’m Darrel Gunn and I’m a local, international, and worldwide businessman. If you’re ever around give me a shout. Let’s talk numbers.