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USA Real Estate Blog

1 week as a solopreneur – Shell Higgs – Medium

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Occupation: Funnel Strategist. Maybe. Choosing a job title is so hard!

Industry: Online Marketing

Age: 40 (had to think about that)

Location: Brisbane, Australia

Income: Fluctuates between ‘begging for change’ and ‘I should buy a yacht’

Day one

7:30am — It’s a beautiful Monday outside and I’m hoping someone took the puppy out, because I need this last 5 minutes of quiet. Roll out of bed and rescue the him from my children, making school lunches while dressed only in underwear. My bra is from Kmart and only cost $10 but it’s soooo comfy. Pack up vegemite sandwiches and head to the shower.

9am — At the gym. I just joined so you know I’m super pumped, but mostly I wave weights around while people-watching. Become fascinated by short-shorts on both sexes and wonder how they’re not constantly picking wedgies. Stop for a donut next door. $2.75

10am — Head home to start work. Write some copy for clients, check on client performance from last month & make a few tweaks. Notice a bunch of business expenses have come out, like video hosting & email marketing. $225

3pm — Late for school pickup. Had to wait until steering wheel cool enough to touch and interior temperature wouldn’t induce heart failure. Kids complain about the extra 5 minutes and then beg for slurpees because they are spoiled bastards. $2

Daily total: $229.75

Day two

7:30am — Exactly the same as yesterday.

8:30am — Stop at supermarket and accidentally shoplift. Coles was doing fire evac practices and nobody was listening, but just in case they tried to force us all to run from the imaginary fire (they even told us it was a drill), I hustled through the self-checkout. With all the alarms blaring I missed a few beeps and didn’t notice stuff was ‘free’ until I got home. Elected not to go back and beg forgiveness, because I am not a fool. $189.15

9:30am — More work at home. More expenses. More words. Wonder when school holidays start because I’m getting lonely. Talk to dog instead. He talks back. We eat the secret candy stash. $97

5pm — Sent everyone to a time out. Apparently sitting on each other until you cry is a great game… until the dog joins in and starts humping people. Feed everyone toast for dinner, because I can. Bread came from the freezer, like a normal person.

Daily total: $286.15

Day three

7:30am — Exactly the same as yesterday, but today I put on pants before making school lunches. Fancy!

8:30am — At the gym. More short shorts & people watching. Get sweaty this time, but obtain more satisfaction by adding the Frozen soundtrack to Crowd DJ. All the roid-bros are pretending they don’t know the words to ‘let it go’, but I can see them lip-syncing.

10am — Work work work. Is it still work if nobody sees me do it? Set up socials for the week, do a spot of feedback for my marketing students and brainstorm a launch.

12pm — Take a break at lunch to watch Dr Who. Decide this new female doctor is a bit blah, no matter how progressive it is. Have slight regrets over Dr Who tattoo that now refers to a show I don’t want to watch.

Daily total: $0

Day four

7:30am — I am a mother.

8:30am — Take dog for a walk where he sniffs everything on the path and tries to play with everyone we meet. Decide when I die, I want to come back as a dog. A girl dog though, I don’t want to be put in a position where I’m required to lick balls. Thank god I’m celibate and that’s not an issue now either.

10am — Push through to frame and price a new copywriting package. Send it to my mum for feedback and praise, but she just points out typos and assumes if I’m charging that much, I must be a zillionaire. Not sure she actually knows how this whole solopreneur thing works. Fix typos and drop it into mastermind for feedback instead.

12pm — Eat a snickers for lunch. Wash it down with coke, while thinking about that protein shake I was supposed to have instead. Feel slightly naughty, but quickly burp all my guilt away.

1pm — Mock up the flow for next podcast. Realise I don’t have enough time to record it today before the kiddos come home, so put it on the to-do list. Spend the rest of my work day researching cool podcasting gadgets & tech. Almost buy a new Yeti mic, but decide to wait until a sale/someone actually listens to my podcast.

Daily total: $0

Day five

7:30am — It’s Friday, which means kids wear a different uniform. I have not washed said uniform. I write notes instead.

8:30am — Gym. YEAH GYM. FEEL THE BURN. WOOOOOOO. Weird hormone day or bipolar? Too dangerous to contemplate. Go hard because I want to wear short shorts too.

10am — Nip out to the cinema as a treat. Intentionally did not tell my children I was going. Ate an entire box of popcorn and enough soft drink to make my bladder feel like it was going to explode before the end credits rolled. Noted they skipped the 30 minutes of ads & previews and wondered how I could get them to do that more often.

1pm — Browse shops for no apparent reason. Spend $100 in Kmart but not entirely sure how that happened, I went in to buy pencils.

7pm — Family game time — get my ass kicked at Mario Kart but only because I have it set on kiddie so I can’t fall off the road. Also, I chose wooden wheels. It seemed like a good choice at the time, but the gloating of my children tells me otherwise.

9pm — Tuck everyone in bed and go back to my computer to do a little work since I played hookey today. Spot of customer service, few tech tweaks, queue up a newsletter about nothing in particular, but know I’ll have sales in the morning.

11pm — Bed. A great week. Might change my job title next week to Marketing Muse. Or Conversion Queen. Might even get a haircut. Or spend all week researching laptops…now there’s an idea!

Daily total: $149

Weekly spend: $664.90

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