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USA Real Estate Blog

I Hate Tipping – Andrew Ruiz – Medium

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I hate everything about it.

I hate there’s this pressure to give someone $5, irrespective of how well they did. I’m more than capable of filling up my own drink and bringing napkins. I can even do it better than most waiters can. This is because I know when my drink is empty faster than they do. Why should I tip them for getting in my way?

I know why.

Somehow, someway, people found a way to attach virtue to tipping. They see it as a kind of signal. Something to be proud of. Here you are, the big man giving the little guy money. It shows you’re well-off, compassionate, and the “king.”

Sure. Why not?

But the opposite is true too, if you don’t tip. People think you’re selfish, a monster, and an asshole if you don’t tip, especially waiters. They get personally offended and ashamed. Like you’re stealing. Like you’re a charlatan.

The restaurants can’t complain. The more money, the better, even if it doesn’t directly go to them. Big tips mean happy waiters.

But a lot of times waiters don’t do shit. They just pick up the plates, ask what you want, and refill your drink. I could train a monkey to do that. I could train a 10 year old to do that in five minutes.

And even if they did, even if the waiter cleaned the tables, wiped my shoes, blessed my child with Holy Water, and saved my soul from Hell, if that was part of the service, why put that on me to decide? Just charge me the amount for the service Mr. Business Owner. Increase the waiter’s wages by increasing the cost of the food. Hell, just put a flat tip in the check that I have to pay. I don’t mind paying for that kind of tip. It’s part of the service. I picked the restaurant. I’ll pay.

But I’m not a charity here to save people . Don’t leave it up to me to decide how much of a Mother Teresa I need to be today for the world ya twats.

Listen. I understand if someone goes above and beyond the call of duty for a job. I’ve given money to people who did more than I asked or expected as a way of expressing gratitude. Make it rain on those bitches. They deserve it.

But it’s not gratitude people are expressing when they tip for mediocre service. It’s virtue-signaling, fear, and status.

They tip because they don’t want to be seen as a cheapskate. They tip because they don’t want others to stigmatize them. Gratitude has nothing to do with it. It’s just the thin veneer we cover tipping with to appear noble and righteous.

And here’s the thing. Tipping itself doesn’t piss me off.

Do it.

Don’t do it.

Whatever.

Live your life the way you want, as long as you’re not hurting anybody.

It’s people’s attitude towards tipping that is indescribably annoying. The way they pretend to be compassionate and gracious. The way they swing their big dick tipping energy like they’re Jesus Christ come back from the dead to save us all from our inequities.

It’s not gratitude if you’re scared. And it’s hypocrisy to say that you’re not. You tip because your fear other people’s judgements and want to wear a crown. Not out of the kindness and goodness of your heart ya bastards.

So ya, I still tip, irrespective of how much I dislike doing it.

I do it so the next time I eat at the same restaurant the waiter doesn’t spit in my food.

Only difference is I don’t pretend to be a good person when I do it.

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